Thud
is an uncompiled programming language based on rocks (also known as “sedimentary development”). Thud
is natural, organic, easy to read, and easy to write, as it consists entirely of the keyword Thud
.
Thud
is type safe and thread safe as Thud
has no types or threads. You may type the word Thud
in any medium regardless of physical state, with an intrinsic guarantee that each atomic Thud
cannot and will not metaphysically interact with any other Thud
.
Thud
has a low learning curve, regardless of language background. Most developers will be able to Thud
in as little as thirty easy lessons.
As Thud
is uncompiled and will not run on any computer, it has a very low memory footprint, depending on the local geographic features of the implementation site. Individual instances may be thrown at LLVM
developers, who will emit ouch
, although this is an unexpected benefit and not a result of the non-existent optimizations built into the toolchain.
Thud
is static. Any Thud
errors (for example, Thump
or GastricDistress
) can safely be ignored by any Thuddist developers. Type annotations are unneeded, as are Thud
debuggers or Thud
unit tests. To ensure correctness, one may throw a Thud
at a nearby barista, tax auditor, or neighborhood association chairperson, regardless of LLVM background.
Thud
is inherently nullable. That which has no Thud
, is not Thud
. All instances are therefore automatically guaranteed for thuddability, as non-thuddable elements are not Thud
, or on every second Thursday, spork
.
Thud
includes a powerful macro system for metaprogramming, consisting of leaving Thud
instances alone, as they aren’t meant to do anything in the first place.
Thuds
can exist concurrently, although there is no mechanism for cross-Thud
communication, shared memory, or metamorphic rock formations. Although Thud
has a “C-Binding Manifesto”, a lack of developer availability means that at the current time, developers must make their own mean-spirited comments towards C-APIs rather than relying on each Thud
‘s natural disdain.
Thud
does not allow dependencies, ensuring that you will never encounter errors when using ThudPods
or Delenda Est
decentralized repository managers.
Thud
is not hosted at GitHub, simplifying the need to respond to trivial pull requests and user-sourced corrections. You can support Thud
by sending large envelopes of unmarked cash to my personal address.
4 Comments
Thanks, but I’ll wait for the Thud.js implementation
Erica Sadun -> Methodia Rascal
Does Thud have a 7elephant.prcht library built in?
You’re early. Are there any plans for WebThud?